Have you ever been job hunting and wondered whether you’re getting passed over because of your age? Or walked out of a meeting thinking, “Did they overlook my idea because of my age… or am I just doubting myself?” . Conversely – do you feel people take you less seriously because of your youth?
These are questions many of us ask as we navigate careers. Ageism is very real, and so is that nagging inner voice that whispers insecurities in our ear. Distinguishing between the two can be tricky. This post examines what global research says about ageism – both external and internal – and how our own “inner critic” might be shaping our perceptions. Along the way, we’ll look at how age bias shows up at work, and what psychology tells us about internalized ageism – that sneaky inner critic.
Ageism in Numbers
First, let’s affirm one thing: it’s not just in your head. Ageism – stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination based on age – is a global issue.
- The World Health Organization (WHO) found that globally, 1 in 2 people hold ageist attitudes toward older adults . That means age-based bias impacts billions of people.
- Yet unlike sexism or racism, which society increasingly calls out, ageism often flies under the radar. According to this NIH research, “ageism is socially acceptable, strongly institutionalised, largely undetected and unchallenged”
- Research (WHO again) links ageism to real harm: poorer physical health, earlier death, social isolation, and even mental health issues (attributing 6.3 million cases of depression globally to ageism).
We encounter ageism in media (think of all those “anti-aging” ads), in healthcare (where older patients may be treated as frail by default), and in everyday interactions. Ageism can affect younger people too – in Europe, younger adults report experiencing age bias more than other groups.
The bottom line is that ageism is pervasive across cultures, hitting young and old alike, often without us even realizing it. No age-group is truly safe from ageism – it’s about falling outside someone’s idea of the “prime” working age. Whether it’s a 20-something not taken seriously or a 50-something passed over in favor of “fresh blood,” these attitudes create an unfair and often illegal “grey ceiling.”
Ageism in the Workplace
Ageism stings most in our working lives. Many mid-career and older professionals sense an invisible force holding them back – and it’s not just their imagination. It often starts subtle: a snide comment about “digital dinosaurs,” a promotion that mysteriously never comes, or job postings quietly preferring “recent graduates.”
- In the United States, nearly two-thirds of workers age 50+ say they have seen or experienced age discrimination on the job.
- Even worse, McKinsey found that across 7 countries (US, UK, etc), hiring managers viewed only about 15% of applicants aged 45+ as fit for the job – though 87% (who got through somehow) performed as well or better than their younger peers.
- And don’t forget that those younger peers might also be suffering – another McKinsey study found that about half of women under 30 say their age played a role in missing out on opportunities at work
The costs of workplace ageism stack up. For individuals, it can mean fewer opportunities, forced early retirement, or long bouts of unemployment. For businesses, sidelining experienced talent can hurt productivity and institutional knowledge. Economists estimate that age discrimination against those over 50 cost the U.S. economy $850 billion in lost GDP per year due to older workers being pushed out or under-utilized . In short, ageism at work is not just morally wrong – it’s bad for business and economies, too.
When Ageism Becomes Internal: the IMpact of the Inner Critic
Given that ageism is so prevalent, it’s no surprise that many of us start to internalize it. We absorb the negative messages around us – the youth-obsessed ads, the offhand remarks about “senior moments” – and over time, those beliefs can turn inward.
Psychologists call this self-directed or internalized ageism: when we believe the ageist stereotypes about our own aging . In plain terms, we each carry an “inner ageist” who might pipe up in our heads at the worst times. This inner voice is part of our broader inner critic which I’ve written about extensively – that internal commentary that loves to highlight our flaws and undermine our confidence. And when it latches onto age, it can be especially insidious.
How does the inner critic play the age card? Let’s say you notice fewer people seeking your input at work, or you didn’t get that new project you wanted. The logical explanation might be something mundane (perhaps management shuffled priorities). But your inner critic whispers, “It’s because I’m older. I’m irrelevant now.” Or you catch a glance of yourself in the mirror and that voice chimes in, “I look old and tired – who would hire me now?” . Sound familiar? In midlife, especially during transitions or hardships, self-doubt finds fertile ground. And the worst thing is, you can’t do anything about it – you will get older, as time passes. (And, let’s be honest – it’s better than the alternative!)
The trouble is, internalized ageism doesn’t just feel bad; it can really harm us. Research out of Yale University found that older adults with more negative self-perceptions of aging live on average 7.5 years less than those with positive attitudes. Yes, you read that right – nearly eight years of life lost, due to the stress and physiological impacts of internalized ageism. Negative thoughts like “I’m too old for this” can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, affecting our health, our cognitive function, and our willingness to engage with life. For example, someone who believes aches and pains are “just old age” might not seek treatment or stay active, leading to worse outcomes. Someone who thinks “I can’t do that, I’m too old” – might move less, and engage in enjoyable activities less, causing further deterioration. The inner critic, when left unchecked, can literally take years off our lives.
Quieting the Inner Ageist
So, is it ageism or is it your inner critic talking? Often, it’s a mix of both. The world may indeed be sending ageist signals – but our interpretation of them can amplify or dampen their effect. The key is to become aware of that inner voice and put it in perspective.
Inner Check
The voice tends to catastrophize and generalize (it loves to whisper things like “You’ll never get hired because you’re too old,” when one rejection had many factors). Gently acknowledging these thoughts – and then fact-checking them – is a good first step. For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m outdated; everyone my age is washed up,” pause and challenge that: Is that really true? What about all the people your age or older who are thriving and valued? Chances are, the evidence doesn’t actually support your inner critic’s claim.
Outer Check
Another strategy is to separate what’s you from what’s them. If you suspect age bias, consider concrete external evidence. Did someone explicitly reference age in a decision? Do younger colleagues with similar profiles get treated differently? If so, you might indeed be facing external ageism (in which case, it could be worth documenting incidents or talking to HR, if appropriate). But if not, the culprit may be more internal – perhaps a lack of confidence that’s making you read into situations.
Positive cognition
In either case, self-compassion is crucial. Remind yourself of your strengths, skills, and the unique perspective that age gives you. In studies on tackling internalized ageism, techniques like cognitive reframing (turning “I’m too old for this” into “I have a lot of experience to bring to this”) and mindfulness have proven helpful in reducing that inner negative chatter.
Positive action
Importantly, addressing your inner critic doesn’t mean denying that ageism exists. It means not letting prejudice – whether from others or from your own mind – define your worth. We can acknowledge that ageism is a real barrier and still refuse to internalize it. Those who defied age stereotypes talk about tuning out the naysayers (external and internal) and focusing on what they can do. We can all learn to do the same in our own lives, step by step. Work out what you can do – and do it. Taking positive actions helps in feeling more positive – while sitting back and feeling bad about the inevitable aging, will leave you feeling worse.
On a societal level, combatting ageism will take education, policy, and intergenerational effort (as the UN and WHO have advocated ). But on a personal level, we have the power to challenge ageism’s grip on our mindset right now. By staying curious, continuing to learn, and surrounding ourselves with people who value all ages, we naturally prove those ageist stereotypes wrong – to others and to that doubtful part of ourselves.
The Inner Critic Programme
Beyond the tips above – I’ve developed an Inner Critic Programme designed to help people recognize and retrain that negative inner voice, especially around issues like age, self-doubt and confidence. It’s a gentle, self-paced approach to building a more supportive inner dialogue and silencing the unfair judgments we place on ourselves. Just over a month of exercises taking a few minutes more-or-less daily, has seen significant improvement for the initial cohorts. If you’re interested in turning your inner critic into more of an inner coach, you can find details and a sign-up form here.
Age is something we all carry with us, but it does not have to be a burden or a barrier. With awareness and practice, we can learn to tell the difference between outside bias and inside fear. We can stand up to ageism around us, and we can hush the ageism that may have taken root within us. In the end, you deserve to be valued – by society, by employers, and most of all, by yourself – at every stage of life. And, maybe, win back eight years of delightful living.
Interested in more support to quiet your inner critic? Learn about the Inner Critic Programme to help you gain confidence and silence self-doubt – you can find the details and sign-up on the programme page.